Last night I was reading quotes from Anthony Robbins. His statements are filled with action words and phrases creating motivation. Tony is a motivational speaker, after all. I was reading his quotes to gain some insight and inspiration to continue writing myself, for I have hit a mental road block. Three days ago I wrote a bit on what I believe the purpose relationships serve in our lives, but I became dismayed over my lack of vision, clarity and literary skill. I felt what I wrote lacked drive, momentum and focus. In comparison to Tony, my writing style is passive and lacking action. This bummed me out. The following day I made no money and this further bummed me out. Late at night I went to the bank to deposit a check and went to a store to restock on bananas, since I eat about five a day. While in the store I became hungry. I stood and looked around at my past, at all the food I once ate with bliss. I walked to the meat section and looked at the rows of red dyed meat packaged on foam trays all stacked on top of each other. The old me would have bought some meat and enjoyed himself that night, munching away. I walked through the wine isle and remembered how brandy, whiskey and wine always brightened my mood.
For the first time I felt very restricted and depressed by this diet. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then I remembered smokey hot salsa and corn chips! Yo, that I dig. I bought some water, eight pounds of bananas, a pound of corn chips and two interesting special salsa mixes and I enjoyed the next few hours of my night.
Then, the frustration of finding my voice sunk in again and has rolled over into today. It has been cloudy the last three days and I haven’t seen the sun during that time. I wonder if the lack of sun makes me feel bummed. I am betting that it does. Even if that is the cause it does not make my situation any better. It shows how much I still am a product of my environment instead of being driven from within. My addition to caffeine is also evidence supporting this fact.
I must keep writing even though I cannot do it well. I have a deep feeling and understanding of reality. That seems to be what I have and am. So I must share it in the only three ways I can: speaking, writing, and living by example.
Hi Joe, I found your blog from Steve Pavlina’s forums. I just wanted to let you know, you’re a much better writer than you give yourself credit for. Hang in there with the dietary changes too. What helped me is realizing the difference between satiating a craving and actually satisfying a real physical need. They’re completely different, but sometimes hard to differentiate.
If you’re interested, check out my blog on personal development, awareness and consciousness expansion.
http://jonathanmead.com/ - Authenticity, Clarity, Balance