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he is alive. he is in the feline version of icu right now.

why am i guilty about this?
this is a cat that needs to be look and watched after. he does not fear things or people. he is not one who could “make it” on his own out on the streets or forests, unlike most other cats. he is a show cat and acts that way. it is my job to watch him and take care of him. and, most importantly he is aware of this and looks up to me. he is dependent on me — not independent like other cats. and i let him down.

i trained him to wait for me under a taras truck. when i come by he comes out to greet me. for weeks i have been leashing him up under taras truck. he would camp out under the truck next to the wheel. well, he got out off the leash. i suspect he waited for me under someone else’s truck wheel across the street or next door.

someone went into their vehicle cosmo was under. cosmo did not move.
they started their vehicle. cosmo did not move.
they backed up and crushed cosmo under the wheel.

sound strange? well, thats cosmo.
(every other cat I’ve known would have ran away when unknown variables entered the unsecured local space (people walking nearby when outside) or the local environment changes unexpectedly (starting an engine))

truly, he is bad shape with broken ribs and organ damage as you would expect BUT is still alive and stable after 24hrs. thats GREAT. now we need to get him past the next 48 hours to determine the severity of organ damage.

update (3am): i just learned his condition has deteriorated. he has begun bleeding internally. blood is slowly filling his gut. this has reduced is blood volume. although this is expected with blunt trauma, our eyes are placed on alert again. in an hour or two i will learn more about this loss of blood, whether it is increasing, remaining the same or has stopped. he is doped up on morphine. his behavior and appearance is still stable, alert and good. maybe the blood loss is occurring from a broken rib bone cutting flesh. maybe not. we’ll see. and so i stay wake waiting on a call.

tara and i visited him several hours ago. the morphine is making him act all goofy, loving and affectionate.

update (5am): cosmo lost a little more blood into his gut. however, he is still active and functional showing no clinical signs of blood loss. there are signs of blood being absorbed back into the bloodstream. His brother, Nachos, has been acting unusual. we where outside playing with rocks waiting for the vet to call. when i brought nachos inside, he circled the living room sniffing everything, went into the garage and howled, came directly back walking right toward me. he looked up at me and made a strange meow that i have never heard before . based on these actions, i gather he is looking for his brother and when he could not locate him, asked me where he is — in the only way he can.

update (2pm): still largely stable with noted improvements. assuming he stays this way we will bring him home tonight then bring him back to the vet tomorrow for blood tests and verification of stability.