A Signal Fire, 1

Selected Passage 1 From Demian by Herman Hesse

Love must not entreat,”she added, “or demand. Love must have the strength to become certain within itself. Then it ceases merely to be attracted and begins to attract. Sinclair, your love is attracted to me. Once it begins to attract me, I will come. I will not make a gift of myself, I must be won.”

13 years ago…

The book arrived in the mail today. As I walked up the stairs to my room on the third floor I opened the package I waited nearly a week for. The curiosity was great. I couldn’t wait to know how I will “understand” after reading this material as she so enthusiastically put it. I was curious to how this book will “explain it” and that I’ll “see” after reading this novel. It will all make sense she told me. My visions, my phone call, my awkward first steps on destiny’s road.. our paths crossed… she said it will all become clear in this book. What could a novel written forty years past (at that time) have any relevance to what was happening to us this past month? Indeed, these events are unique and surely not ordinary, but they are written in a book that has become the focal of our connection? Whatever. I do keep an open mind and I will take the pleasure to read this book, but I hold no expectations for prophetic visions or otherwise. Luckily, up here in this small college town I have nothing but time. Heck, I’ll finish the book in two days.

All that was inside the unassuming package was a small paper back. The used, yellowed pages emanated a faint musty order typical of a used book store. As I leafed through it I saw several passages highlighted in yellow marker. Noting that these are obviously important sections of the book I waited till I sat in my chair upstairs to read the first one. It appeared nearly half-way through the book I believe. Curious, I wrote that section on loose leaf to save it for another day when the meaning may come clear because presently all it seemed was just a random passage highlighted from a novel.

The meaning came clear two months later. While deep in sleep dreaming of her I awoke from a knock on my door. I was not controlling my thoughts and they manifested right outside my door. I set a signal fire in my heart shining towards our sky. In the darkness of each night, in the depths of each dream and with the passing of each day my signal fire flared more. I understand now I must be careful of what I wish. My beacon was seen by another pair of eyes. The pair I wished for.

There she stood outside my door. With long blond hair flowing and her smile inviting, her eyes contained a flame I recognized. In her warm breath she sweetly said “I’ve come to take you back home.” I looked around. The 11am late morning sun shown brightly on the black asphalt street behind. The wind rustled leaves of the tall trees on either side of us. Squinting, I led her inside. There is much we need to talk about.