JoeGoldfarb.com

Yesterday Tara bought the gold Twin Peaks box set that contains all the 29 episodes from season 1 and 2. We watched the 2 hour pilot last night. The imagery, concepts left me thinking dark thoughts for the remainder of the evening and continuing into my dreams that night. It was not a positive experience.

Many years ago (about 13 yrs) when I habitually populated the trendy Elmwood Ave in Buffalo, NY day after day and night after night I settled into a cozy yet hip cafe called Cafe` Aroma were I would later become employed. Popping in nearly everyday to order a coffee drink, read the weekly Artvoice or some other book led me to become acquainted with the baristas employed there. One girl, Andrea, a Libra, ended up taking a fancy in me. She was very short, somewhere around five foot with long, straight platinum blond hair with one black streak near her bangs. She has a small mouth and eyes. On her left shoulder she has a detailed fairy tattoo. She loved to wear huge platform boots to increase her height. Most importantly, she made an awesome ice mocha latte with black current flavoring. She would even draw pictures with chocolate syrup on the whipped cream.

One night she asked me to come to her house to watch a movie. She told me something like it may break my mind but she think I can handle the movie content and idea’s presented in it. Intrigued, I met her at her apartment on her day off with my friend Charles I believe. She got us extremely high. Then she proceeded to make spaghetti and was bouncing around the kitchen in marijuana smoke. I remember Charles being exited about the food, however, I was not. Italian food is not something I care for, even stoned. I ate some anyways. We followed the pasta with some red wine.

Then came the movie. She pulled out her stolen VHS tape of Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. It had a white price tag with $97 on it if not returned to Blockbuster. She didn’t care. She told us to sit down and enjoy the movie. She offered us a choice and I took the red pill. And so Charles and I sat about six feet from the large television crossed-legged for the entire two and a half hour film. I was completely engrossed by the film. I don’t think I even blinked once. Andrea was right. My neurons were rewrote and I have not been the same since watching that film in that very open-minded state. You see, with no reality boundaries in place, no form of mental protection, a new paradigm smacked me right in the head. Yes, that movie rewrote my understanding of reality. The color theory David Lynch used along with the relationships between colors, actions, locations, people and symbols redefined how I perceive the world around me. His artistic expression of metaphysical concepts such as angels and demons, spirits and other worlds that tied into an otherwise seemingly normal reality of small-town people, placements, and events set in a dramatic storyline of incest and drugs blew this delicate, fragile mind away. Again, I have not been the same.

Now over a decade later I sit back and expose myself to the same thing, the same wild ideas innocuously transposed over a dark TV soapy drama hurts me again. Because the series is about pain, trauma, and the downward spiral of drugs in high school students makes me wince. Because the show is about possession by evil, supernatural spirits from realms beyond that drive people to heinous, violent acts of desperation and loath brings back dark memories. Then with the directors adding the artistic elements such as flickering lights, red costumes, and sounds of zippers to represent tapping into outside information, emotional impulsiveness, and entering a dark parallel world of pain, debauchery and suffering is really too much for me now. I don’t want to go back there. I have already been there. I have already felt that and it doesn’t feel good in comparison to the good and happiness I have felt in my life since. I do not want that ugliness in my life. It feels awful.

See,while the symbolic ideas of reality portrayed in the film opened my eyes, the film does little to help avoid it or move away from it. It’s about the downward spiral and corruption of the psyche. It’s about the pain one causes when they act from a dark heart, from a dark place, from dark motives. It’s not about healing. It’s not about moving forward. It’s not about building strength of character. It’s about the unraveling of character. It’s not about personal growth, success and happiness. It’s about impulsiveness, disease and pain. It’s not about beauty and truth. It’s about ugliness and lies. It’s not about where I am and were I need to be. It’s about where I was and what I do not wish to be. So why expose myself to this pain and suffering? Why jump in the pig pen? Why cut my wrist? Why look into the depths of darkness? There is no need anymore. I do not need to be made aware anymore of the creatures that lie in the shadows. I need, because my heart still bleeds, to focus on the dezines of light. I am walking from that land of blight climbing ever higher with delight and self-empowerment, joy and well being in sight.

Lastly, all the characters in Twin Peaks are not immune to the corrupted spirits in the woods. All succumb.

Yes, the Twin Peaks pilot episode brought back bad, ill feelings and thoughts inside.

Last night we traded in one of our truck crossover SUV for a brand-spanking new 2009 Toyota Prius package 6 tour edition. (The benefits of the tour package, like better suspension, integrated bluetooth and GPS do not outweigh the slap in the face the leather seats give. See, a hybrid car has a certain message attached to it. Leather seats carry the opposite :) Not only is the backlog for a regular Prius six months here in the Vegas valley, the tour package 6 constitutes only 1% of all manufactured Prius making the wait for this model to be over a year from now. Back in March of this year, the regular Prius was available on the lot ready to buy but recently rising fuel costs have created a huge back order. Despite the long wait, the use of technology that decreases wastefulness and reliance of global oil makes all the waiting worth it.

Perhaps the main reason for owning a hybrid gas/electric automobile such as the Toyota Prius is it’s low fuel consumption and high millage rating of around 46 mpg. While that aspect attracts many would-be buyers for fuel savings, the average driver saves only $1500 on gas per year over a typical gasoline vehicle. If more miles are put on the Prius during that year, then the savings increase. Since we partake on out of state and in state vacations and car trips often, we think our savings will be high. The selfish reason for buying a Prius is a legitimate reason.

Another reason for owning a Prius is perhaps political. Since the Prius is a hybrid car I am guessing it uses at least half the amount of gasoline than non-hybrid cars. Less gas means less oil which means less wealth is transferred out of our pockets, out of our country and into Saudi Arabia and other oil-exporting countries. The more money that stays in this country the merrier.

The last reason that comes to mind for owning a Prius is the most vague, but also the most important reason for me. I was raised in a home where recycle, reuse and repurpose were three important ways of thinking when it comes to objects. I recycle to this day, I reuse plastic bags, and I repurpose containers and other variety of things. But perhaps the biggest waste I feel comes to driving my truck. It hurts knowing that my foot applying pressure to the gas pedal allowing a continuous supply of fuel to my trucks engine is not an efficient way to cruse the highways. Knowing that as I press the break pedal energy is escaping the trucks system makes me feel wasteful. These two system inefficiencies are now addressed in a hybrid gas-electric vehicle. The large battery in the Prius stores energy to be used when the car idles or cruises. The regenerative break system of the Prius captures otherwise wasted energy from the wheel friction and stores it in the battery. This application of battery electrical power to complement a vehicles propulsion and operation speaks of resourcefulness and mindfulness rather than of waste and unnecessary consumption of resources. It’s how I like to drive.

The downside of the Prius, besides any technical limitations like small wheels and a light-weight body is the large battery. It’s not toxic, fully recyclable and won’t contaminate a landfill. Because of this battery used to power a hybrid, it is more resource intensive to manufacture a Prius than a Hummer. Metals, like nickel have to be mined from the earth to fill the battery. However, once there are plenty of hybrids on the market the situation will change. When hybrids begin to be demolished from end of life cycle or when the batteries wear out for whatever reason then the manufacture, Toyota, will have a new resource to mine nickel from - used Prius batteries. They even have a $200 bounty on each battery! It is cheaper for Toyota to obtain the required metals from the large Prius batteries than it is to mine the metals from the ground. Once batteries start being recycled then the environmental impact of the manufacturing of a hybrid vehicle will begin to diminish. In the meantime, while using less gasoline to operate our car we will spreading a message of conscious consumerism and anti-wastefulness. We will drive ahead into the future of change that we all need. Remember, if you want to change the world then you must vote with your dollars.